Monday, June 20, 2011

What is in Such a Tiny Pill??

Last Thursday I forgot my birth control pill.  I did not realize it until Saturday.  Thank goodness for the days of the week listed on the pill pack!  Thursday night I was very sick at my stomach and just blamed it on something I ate, but I really didn't know why.  Friday I was, well lets just say, a little testy.  ha.  I thought maybe it was because I had gotten so hot sitting outside at a little festival where my mom and I had a booth. 

Usually when I get hot I don't like to eat much, but on Friday I could NOT get enough to eat!  It was crazy.  I kept telling my mom, "I don't know what is wrong with me, but I just don't feel like myself!"  I chalked it up to the heat.

On Saturday morning we were on our way back to the festival and I was taking my medicine.  I actually looked at my birth control when I took it and it said I was taking Friday's pill when it was Saturday.  Ut Oh!  I knew I had in fact taken it on Friday, so I started putting the pieces together and realized it must have been Thursday that I missed my pill.

By Saturday my face had started breaking out, and I was just SO tired.  I decided to take an extra pill Saturday night when I ate.  I knew it might make me a little sick at my stomach, but I can handle that if I feel a little more like me.

My mom and I got very hot, too hot in fact, at the festival.  We came home earlier than planned on Saturday.  I was hot, tired, sweaty, etc., when I got home, BUT I could NOT stop cleaning!  It was crazy!  I don't know why, but when I am not on birth control I have some very serious OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) symptoms.  My husband had not gone with us to the festival, so he was very happy to see me when we got home.  Poor guy.  I really seem to take things out on him when my hormones are not right. 

I started bossing him around the minute I walked in the door, and then I would start apologizing.  It is like I just can't control what comes out of my mouth, and I have NO patience.  Especially with him.  Of course I told him what I had done.  He offered to fix me something to eat so I could get that extra pill in my system.  ha.

Sunday morning I did feel much more like myself.  I was a little sick at my stomach and I slept most of Sunday away, but I can handle that much better than my OCD bossy self!  Oh, and by the way, as hot, tired, sweaty, and CRAZY as I was when I got home on Saturday, I cleaned my place from top to bottom.  Ugh.  I just couldn't stop. 

But, even though it helped my ahem...attitude....ahem, I am broken out, hungry, tired, and my ovaries and uterus hurt.  Okay, so I know it sounds silly to say my ovaries and uterus hurt, but after you have taken as many fertility meds as I have you know RIGHT where your ovaries are.  And after having a DNC, I know RIGHT where my uterus is. 

And believe me, it could be much worse, and I definitely realize that, but it just amazes me what all is in that tiny little pill.  I am SO thankful for that tiny little pill and believe me, I am going to try my hardest not to forget to take that tiny little pill again!

Well, and speaking of fertility meds, we are moving into a new place in the middle of July sometime.  So, I decided to start cleaning out a few cabinets so there isn't quite as much to do when it gets closer.  The first one I tackled was the medicine cabinet.  I truly did not expect to find anything that made me sad, but boy was I wrong.  I found progesterone from 2007, 2008, 2009, and 2010.  Okay, so maybe when I was done with it because I wasn't pregnant I just threw it in the cabinet and didn't look at it again.  I was reading the dates and most of them were summer dates.  It made me kind of sad because this is the first summer in 5 years that we haven't been doing fertility treatments.

Don't get me wrong, summer is a horrible time to be doing fertility treatments, but it is easiest with my husband's job and it just always seemed to work out that summer is when we had the most money saved.  So, that is how we have spent our summers.  No, I do not enjoy fertility treatments, but they are kind of exciting and always gave me hope that this might be IT!  So, I have to admit, it made me kind of sad that we are not doing treatments this summer. 

I also found some bravelle.  I almost made me sick.  That stuff is SO expensive!  If I had known it was in there I would have donated it to someone who was having trouble paying for their fertility treatments. 

I also found an empty package of birth control.  I looked at the date and rememberd why I kept it.  It was the last BC I took before I started my fertility treatments last spring at my new RE clinic.  I had a lot of hope.  I wanted to be able to look at that empty BC package and know it was the last package I would take for almost a year.  I just knew this was going to be IT! 

I did throw it all away, the progesterone, the bravelle, the out of date ovulation predictor kits, the out of date pregnancy tests, and the empty package of birth control.  And it made me kind of sad.

Obviously the treatments did not work, but it was nice to remember how much hope I had.  So, now I am ready.  I have found the motivation I needed.  I am ready to get in shape and start saving for IVF.

Isn't it funny how God works sometimes??  He even works through the cleaning out of medicine cabinets.

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