Today was my due date.....five years ago. It just seems impossible to me that I could have a 5 year-old today.
I have to admit that my first thought when my OB's nurse told me my due date was "Really??? My poor kid's birthday is going to be the 5th anniversary of 9/11!" Now, I would just like to have my child...whatever his/her birthday might be.
So every year on 9/11, not only do I think about that horrible attack on our country but I also think about my baby that I never met.
All of the first day of school pictures this year really hit home. I just kept thinking that next year, that could have been me posting those pictures.
Oh how my life would be different having a 5 year-old.
I often wonder if I would have a 5 year-old boy or a 5 year-old girl? I wonder if I would be going to soccer games or dance classes?
And my poor husband. His birthday is 9/18. He was going to get a baby for his birthday. He rarely says anything, but I know he thinks about it every year.
I am sad tonight. For some reason, more so than most other years. Maybe because 5 is a milestone, but honestly I'm not really sure. I just am.
For I know the plan I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 28:11