Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Just a Thought...

So most of you know that I have another blog where I document all the fun stuff that happens in my life.  I LOVE blogging!  Most of the time.  I looked at that blog today, and it has been over a month since I blogged one fun thing that has happened.

I hate that!  I hate that I take these breaks, but it seems like when there is a lot of other stuff going through my mind.....mainly about infertility.....I just can't bring myself to blog.  I have a habit of blocking out the bad.  I was going to say "bad habit", but I don't necessarily think it is all bad to only remember the good.  It's like for some reason I don't want to remember this time.  

I did the same thing last year.  I log onto my blog.  I have all of the pictures on the computer.  I've even already added them to my facebook.  I just can't find the words.  

It's like I just want to scream into the computer, "Do you people not realize what I am going through!"  And then I remember, I really don't want everyone to know what I'm going through.  Why is that??? 
I don't know.  

I mean, I am still doing fun stuff.  I am still having fun while doing the fun stuff.  But I guess I can't make myself blog about fun stuff when I've got so much other stuff on my mind. 

There have been some pretty special days in some pretty special kiddo's lives lately that I don't want to forget.  For some reason I feel the need to narrate everything on my blog......I have to tell everyone exactly what is happening in every picture!  Ha!  I don't really know why I do that.  Maybe I will just add the pictures.  Maybe I can make myself narrate them later.

So anyway, in case you read my other blog and in case you were wondering why I haven't blogged......that is why.  It is some kind of coping strategy that I have learned along the way.........it is like I am blocking this time out of my life.

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