I had a chance today to encourage a friend who I was unaware was TTC.
Okay, so the story goes like this.......
(I'm not good at shortening a story, so bare with me!)
There is a girl at my church (remember this is a VERY small church) who is about 5 years younger than me who I have gotten to know over the last year. She and her husband are the only other childless couple at our church. Yes you read that right. They have not been married quite a year yet. After meeting each other we started talking and realized we know a lot of the same people.....mainly because we were both very active in the United Methodist Youth activities while growing up and we were both in youth for a few of the same years.
Now, I wouldn't say that she and I are necessarily close, but we do have a lot in common and we text back and forth a few times a week and thankfully this week she agreed to teach my Wednesday night preschoolers for me because I was sick! We attended the same very large youth event growing up that happens to be this weekend that she and her husband happen to be chaperones for! Can you say jealous!?!
So, she texted me tonight on her way to that event and says, "The church van still smells the same after all these years!" So I text her back and we share old memories for a while, and I'm not sure how the conversation changed but she asked if my husband and I were planning on having kids anytime soon. Not a question I enjoy answering, but one that I have gotten pretty used to! Ha! I have my answer memorized........"We don't have room for a baby right now. Maybe someday!" (Which is not a lie.....we live in a one bedroom apartment with my husband's job. The space has never actually bothered us. We decided 5 years ago that we would make room and just make it work.) We are actually moving into a brand new 2 bedroom apartment (still with my husband's work) in July. She knows this so she naturally asks "what about this summer?" I answered that my husband and I had agreed to talk about it once we move. Then she reveals to me that she and her husband are trying. Actually to quote her, she says "We are trying........quite unsuccessfully, but trying."
This broke my heart. I remember those first few months when we didn't know anything was wrong. It was still tough even though we weren't infertile as far as we knew. I remember when we first got married and EVERYONE was bugging us about when were we going to have kids. (Thankfully that has slowed down a little over the last 7 years.)
I got the chance to write her back and let her know that that must be frustrating, but to give it time. That I knew many people who tried for over a year before getting pregnant. Not to let it get to her and for her not to give up. She said thank you. She told me it is just hard when people are "accidentally" getting pregnant all around you. My favorite: She says, "I hate them. :) Nicely of course." I don't know that I have ever heard it put better! Ha! I wrote back, "Doesn't it make you sick! Ha!" And then the subject changed.
Sometimes it is good to just be honest.
Sometimes (not always) I do hate them nicely!
Sometimes it does just make me sick!
But the most important part is that I got to encourage her. God gave me that chance.
I hope this is not our last conversation about TTC. I pray that God gives me the chance to encourage her again.
Thank you God for giving me these moments when I KNOW this journey has a purpose.....a reason.