Sunday, February 27, 2011

Music Monday-Unredeemed

(Well, actually Music Sunday, because tomorrow is the big appointment with the RE.  The appointment isn't until 3 pm, but it is 3 hours from here so we will be getting home late and I am not sure I will feel like posting.  If you remember, saying a prayer at 3 pm tomorrow would be much appreciated!)  

Unredeemed by Selah is probably the song with the most emotional story behind it.  
So please bear with me as I try to make it from beginning to end of this story.
I guess I should start out with I have never shared this story with anyone.  For a long time it was just between me and God.  Our little secret.
A little background on Selah:  I have read the lead singer of Selah (Todd Smith) wife's (Angie Smith) blog since before their daughter Audrey Caroline was born and went to be with Jesus.  Angie really helped me through some tough times even though her struggles were much different than mine.  (If you ever have time, you should so read her blog from beginning to end!  She is a wonderful writer.....well actually she is an author now.  Her book "I Will Carry You" is my favorite book ever!)
She talked about her husband's new CD that was about to be released and I knew I had to have it.  All of the songs on the CD are great, but Unredeemed was always my favorite.  
Months go by.
My husband and I had made some really tough decisions.  We had decided to change fertility clinics.  That is another story for another time, but it was a big leap of faith.  It brought on a lot of change......that turned out to be wonderful change, but I did not know that at this time.  We had taken a year long break from any treatments, so getting back into the swing of things was just hard.  Trusting someone else with the one thing you want most in this world is tough.  Especially after the experience that we had just had.
Okay, so onto the story......sorry I ramble a lot.  I have 5 years worth of stuff to say and it's like it just won't stop pouring out!  Ha!  
Oh yeah.....the story.......
So my husband and I were driving (well actually he was asleep in the passenger seat riding while I was driving) home from his parents house after staying with them for one of our fertility appointments at our new RE and I was listening to my Selah CD.  I was actually listening to the whole CD not just Unredeemed on repeat.  
It was a very clear night.  
We were driving on very flat straight roads way away from any towns, so there was very little light.  I was looking up (I was still paying attention to the road...I promise) and admiring how many stars were out while I was singing my heart out to Unredeemed which had just come on.  I was asking God to just give me a sign.....just show me something so that I knew we were doing the right thing and making the right choices.......when I saw a shooting star.  That's right, a shooting star.  I am not superstitious, but I definitely wished on that star......with tears streaming down my face.  I believe that God sent me that shooting star.  
Okay, let me just share that this was the first clear sign that I have ever seen and believed was just sent from Him to me in the (at that time) 4 years of infertility.  I asked God to show me something that said everything was going to be okay, and he did.  
I have to admit I was totally convinced I was pregnant because like I mentioned earlier we were in the middle of a fertility treatment, but I'm sure you have figured out by now I wasn't pregnant.  But, I didn't ask God to give me a sign that I was pregnant, I asked him to give me a sign that we were making the right decisions and that everything was going to be okay.  He gave me that sign.  I also have to admit that I was so excited because I was going to have an awesome story to tell when I got to tell everyone I was pregnant and that God sent me that shooting star to tell me I was pregnant!  Ha!  We all know that that is not the way it turned out, but I still think it is an awesome story.  
It is still hard not to tear up every time I hear Unredeemed.   I'm not as obsessed with the song as I was, but I still listen to it every now and then to remind me that everything is going to be okay.
I hope you enjoyed the song.

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